How to Be a Good Running Buddy

Sunday was a very important day. It was the day of the Runtoberfest 5k and Beer Bash, and was also the graduation race from the Red Coyote Newbie Running Program, a couch to 5k program that I signed up for a few months ago. I had started this same program a few years ago, but ended up stopping about halfway through when I got pregnant. So this time I was happy to sign up and see it through to the end. And not just because I did not get pregnant this time.

Hard earned beers after the race!

This time, I had running buddies. Two of my best friends agreed to do this with me, (or rather, Blair and I agreed to do it with Sheridan) and this could have gone disastrously wrong. Trying to do sporting activities with your friends is like undertaking any big challenge with people you love. It can completely ruin the relationship and reveal horrible things about people you once thought you held in high esteem. It takes patience, fortitude, and several other key components to ensure that your friendship survives the ordeal. Especially when one of you, (ahem, Blair) doesn't think she maybe wants to do it in the first place, but has graciously succumbed to peer pressure because she knows it will make you happy (but she loves it now!)
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This Sunday, we ran the Runtoberfest together, and we had a blast (after we got done moaning and gnashing our teeth through the incredibly hilly for a 5k course). So here are the three things that made these girls so great to train with, and what you should do it you want to be a great running buddy:

1.Don't Compete
Being competitive is a good thing. It's good to have something driving you to succeed. But when it comes to training for a run in a group, you just have to put aside that need to pass everybody and concentrate on what is going on with you. Being a good running buddy means not trying to constantly beat your partner, but instead do your best and encourage them to do the same. You guys are on a team: Team Survive This Run. And you can't do that if you are always trying to one up each other.

2. Don't Hold Yourself Back
It is inevitable that one of you will be faster than the other one. One of you will have an awesome run while the other has a horrible one. But you can't ever have an awesome run if you have swung too far away from competitiveness and are worried about leaving your friend behind. It needs to be about improving your own pace, and that means sometimes one of you will be in front or behind the other. Everyone needs to agree from the outset that they will run how they run and not force themselves to stick with the group. I am so thankful that my friends did this, because if I'm faster it's a pain to have to slow up, and if I'm slower, I feel like a tool for making my faster friends hang back. So just let it be.

3. Understand That Socializing Might Have to Wait

This is what I typically look like during a run.

Sometimes runners, especially new runners, get completely out of breath all the time when they run. They say, of course, that if you are in shape, you should be able to hold a conversation while running steadily. But in reality, some of us need to just huff and puff our way through the run and can barely heave out a "Left!" when passing someone. So just run. It's enough to know that you have somebody else running alongside (though not necessarily literally alongside) you, wishing you the best. Chatting is for after the run, when you are at the coffee shop eating a muffin and congratulating each other on your athleticism. For the actual running, just put in your ear buds and let your friends do the same if they want.  It's the right thing to do.

Fortunately for me, my besties were the best running buddies a girl could ask for. They did everything right. And that is how our friendship has lived on, and is going on to the 10k training program! I'm just so happy to have these ladies jogging by my side!

Food for thought: How do you other runners feel about being greeted by someone running the opposite direction? Do you wave? Smile? High Five? Duck your head and hope they just leave you alone? What's the etiquette there?