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The Husband and The Cheese: A Comedy in Three Parts

I have a small, hilarious slice of life to share with you all.

Firstly, you may or may not be aware of my unhealthy obsession frequent use of Amazon.com for ordering everything from books to tootsie rolls.Okay, really I just use it for books and tootsie rolls. There is really nothing in between. Or at least there wasn't, until I discovered that you could buy real food on Amazon, not just chewy candy. And then my plans for becoming a total recluse and ordering all my groceries online started. I love Amazon.com.

Secondly, you may or may not also be aware that I subsist completely eat the government recommended amounts of cheese (three times a day). Let's just be honest. Cheese is what makes life worth living. It brings people together. It is my spring in winter, and my winter in the dreadfully hot summer. If I were to start a philanthropic organization, it would be to fund research for a cure for lactose intolerance, because I hate the idea that anyone should be denied the chance to live a life full of cheese.

Thirdly, I love my husband. He is a pragmatic delight who brings order and peace to the chaotic, cheese-filled nature of my daily life. And recently, he has also been without a laptop.

The other day, these three things collided into a perfect storm of mild hilarity.

I frequently add things to my Amazon cart that I have no intention of purchasing right away. I put them there so that I will remember that I want them, and so that when I do go back to buy them, I don't have to search for them again. This is how I ended up with some cheese in my Amazon cart.

I had been perusing one of my favorite blogs, Grilled Cheese Social. This is a blog devoted completely to making grilled cheese sandwiches. You can see its allure. On this particular post, the blog was describing a sweet cheese that tastes like caramel candy when grilled on a sandwich. This cheese is called Gjetost (Ski Queen) cheese. My interest was caught. Because I am intimately familiar with every cheese counter in town, I knew that the likelihood of finding this cheese within driving distance was slim. So I found it on Amazon (did I mention they have everything?) and added it to my cart, planning to buy it later, after I had convinced Norris that paying $12/lb for internet cheese was a good idea.

But Norris beat me to the punch.

He was in dire need of a new laptop, what with all the other computers in his possession deciding to give up on life simultaneously. I offered him the use of my  trusty lappy, Marvin (who I will never say a bad word about, lest he rise up against me and delete all my files), to shop for a new one. He found one he loved on Amazon. (They really should be paying me for advertising at this point.) He added it to my cart. He payed for the cart. He received a confirmation email. He realized with horror that he had not just purchased a laptop. He had also purchased my $12 cheese! 

Needless to say, I was over the moon at this happy accident and spent the next hour jumping with joy at the fact that I was getting my cheese. Norris turned up the volume of his Call of Duty so that he wouldn't have to hear me gloating. It reached near deafening levels when I received the message that my cheese would be arriving a full week before his laptop.

And that is why you should always review your wife's Amazon cart before purchasing things through her account.

P.s. I'm getting my cheese! Did you hear? Here is the link to the cheese on Amazon.

Comments

  1. hahahahaha. I freaking LOVE this.

    ps - I would never be able to go through a pound of cheese. ever. at least, not before it got moldy.

    ReplyDelete

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