As Yet Untitled

I am giving you some valuable information here. Snakes are my biggest fear. My second biggest fear is that upon discovering my biggest fear, people will pounce on it and send me snakes in the mail, or put them in my bed, or my car, or throw them in my face like David Bowie did to Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth . So, the other day, when Norris was getting ready to go on a short trip, we were talking about all the critters in our yard. Normally I like all these critters. We have a bunch of toads (like, seriously, we have like 20 toads in our back yard—and that’s just the ones we can find. Toads freaking love us.) and a couple tree frogs, and some praying mantises, and snails, and a family of birds (dusky flycatchers—the babies all just flew away and I was very sad) that nested in our patio light fixture, and for a few days we had a raccoon living in one of our trees. We also have a couple of hawks (I mean two hawks that are in a committed relationship. We know they care about each...